Behind The Walls
by Moonlight Phoenix1
Summary: *SLASH* What really goes on behind the Varsity dorm walls? Is the Varsity team as brutal as they are on the ice, or are they completely different? Adam Banks knows only too well. Can Charlie save him before he breaks?
1. ENTRY ONE Charlie

A/N: Hiya everyone! This is my first ever Mighty Ducks fan fic so please BE NICE! I got this idea from watching the 3rd movie for about the sixth time. When the story progresses, it will be rather twisted . . . not too much, though, so don't be put off! It will be told from Adam and Charlie's points of view - as entries in journals. Charlie will go first, writing his account of things, and the next chapter will be sweet ickle Banksie writing HIS account of things.  
  
Oh, also, there will be some slight alterations from the film. For instance, Charlie doesn't meet Linda. She exists, but he just doesn't know her, and she just doesn't know him. Also, please don't kill me if I get stuff wrong, like (for example) who's older, who's had girlfriends before or stuff like that. I just haven't watched D1 and D2 for YEARS, that's all. OK, now since this is my first MD fic, I would REALLY appreciate ANY reviews, so . . . please? Pwetty pwease with double icing and a cherry on top?  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing apart from this plot. Damn. Oh, and sorry for the shortness. Not a Disclaimer, I know, but what the hec?  
  
WARNINGS: SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH in later chapters! Also, rather twisted things that require a PG-13 rating. I'm not gonna tell you what they are cos it might spoil it for you. And I might not be updating this story as often as I'd like, because I've got about a million other unfinished stories, but I'll try. And the next chapter will (hopefully) be worth the wait.  
  
~~~~~~~~ Behind The Walls ~~~~~~~~  
  
ENTRY ONE - Charlie  
  
I hate him.  
  
I really do. Banskie, that is.  
  
Crap. I forgot to write 'Dear Journal'. Here we go again . . .  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I hate him.  
  
I really do. Banksie, that is. He made Varsity - can you believe it? He made Varsity courtesy of Coach Orion. Wonder if his dad bought his way onto the team.  
  
Oh, and me? Well, I'm not even Captain anymore. I found out just over a week ago.  
  
He's only better than me just because he has money. And parents. Who are happily married. And now that Banksie's on Varsity . . . well, I figure that that makes him an enemy. If he's not a Duck, he's not worth speaking to. Actually, that's kind of harsh. But still. I guess that I should stop calling him by his nickname, then.  
  
From now on, he will just be Banks.  
  
No Adam (not that I ever called him that).  
  
No Banksie.  
  
No Cake-eater.  
  
Just Banks.  
  
The rest of the team hate him too, now, I think. Well, hate is actually too strong a word for their feelings . . . dislike him. Immensely. Apart from Julie. She shares some of his Advanced classes. I see the way she tenses up when we start slagging him off behind his back and calling him a traitor.  
  
It's not his fault, really. I mean, Coach Orion was the one who put him in Varsity.  
  
Who am I kidding? Of course it's his fault; everything's his fault. Plus, I've seen him being awfully pally with Riley - Varsity's big-ass Captain. Banks seems to have found himself a new best friend straight away. I can tell that he's forgotten about me already.  
  
Dickhead.  
  
Well, who cares? It wasn't as if I really liked him, anyway. And he wasn't actually my best friend . . . I have plenty of other LOYAL and TRUSTWORTHY friends.  
  
Banks is SUCH a-  
  
OK, this is getting annoying now.  
  
If he's an enemy, then why the hell do I keep thinking about him so damn much? The way his baby-blue eyes always crinkle at the corners when he laughs. Well, he doesn't laugh so much as giggle . . . manlishly. Damn, I miss that laugh. And also his hair. I always found it cool. I mean, the way it just flopped there, light brown-blonde in colour, forming a cute little fringe (I'm talking about baby-cute here, OK?), and-  
  
Oh bloody hell, I'm being an asshole, aren't I? I mean, he's my best friend and I dropped him just because he was so good that he got into Varsity.  
  
Argh! I must STOP being so damn hard on myself. This is not my fault, and I should stop feeling so guilty for talking about Banks. He's probably told Varsity all our plans and moves for our ice hockey games. Bastard.  
  
Dammit, I still don't understand why I keep WRITING about him. I could go on for pages and pages . . . but we've just had hockey practice and I'm tired, so I won't. I mean Banks was nothing special. He was always the quiet one with nothing to offer to the group.  
  
Apart from money.  
  
Oh, yeah, and did I forget to mention that we are no longer the Mighty Ducks? We are now the 'Eden Hall Warriors'.  
  
Oh joy.  
  
That Coach Orion bloke is a real slave driver. I hate him as well.  
  
Who do I hate more? Orion or Banks, Orion or Banks, Orion or Banks?  
  
Hmm . . . it's a tough one but I think I'll have to go for BANKS.  
  
He's the traitor.  
  
Orion's just a rookie.  
  
But still an unbelievably uptight shithead.  
  
Even Banks wasn't that uptight. Sure, he's a shithead, but he's never been as uptight as-  
  
Fuck it. He just HAD to crop up again, didn't he? Stupid Banks.  
  
What's wrong with me? Why do I keep thinking about the boy I dislike (I mean HATE) so much?  
  
Why?  
  
Adam Banks, what are you doing to me?  
  
- Charlie Conway - resident Eden Hall Warrior (big whoop) 


	2. ENTRY ONE Adam

A/N: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'm back! And I'm UPDATING! Amazing, isn't it? Sorry that I couldn't update for over a month, but that's all ff.net's fault! For a full story, check my profile page. Anyway, thank you SO much for the reviews! Here are the more specific thank-yous:  
  
Adam - Thanks for the review! Yes, Adam's entry will be quite different from Charlie's. It'll be a bit darker (not that much, though), and he'll be feeling kind of confused. Oh yes, and I love making characters turn all schizophrenic! So Charlie definitely falls under that category lol! Please keep reviewing!  
  
geometrygal - Thanks for reviewing! Of --course-- Charlie's in love . . . he just doesn't know it yet. Heh heh. I know, Chadam ROCKS, doesn't it? Please continue reviewing - I'm glad you like it!  
  
Bottles - Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that you are a simply AWESOME writer - I have read practically all your works . . . but I have yet to review them.  
  
LB - Thanks for reviewing! Yay, I hoped that I got his character down alright! I mean, writing Banksie - piece of cake. But writing Charlie? Umm . . . well, let's just say that it took a while to write his second entry lol. Please keep reviewing!  
  
crazy4nc128 - And here it is! Thanks for the review, and please continue reviewing!  
  
KShyne99 - Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad that you like the thing with the journals! Keep on reviewing!  
  
~~~~~~~~ Behind The Walls ~~~~~~  
  
ENTRY ONE - Adam  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
Why.  
  
Why did this have to happen to me?  
  
Why why why why WHY did I have to make the Varsity?  
  
Dad was finally proud of me (for the 'first time' in his 'long life', I quote him), but . . . what was the point of getting onto Varsity if I lost all my friends?  
  
They all hate me now. The Mighty Ducks, I mean. Only they're not the Mighty Ducks anymore. They are now the 'Eden Hall Warriors' - no doubt the Dean made up the name. Dead original.  
  
So, as I was saying, the 'Eden Hall Warriors' all hate me now, Especially Charlie.  
  
WHY does he have to hate me? I mean, we've been best friends for AGES, and as soon as I get onto the Varsity . . .  
  
It's all my fault. Not his. Mine.  
  
I keep moving. Moving houses, moving teams . . .  
  
The Hawks to the Mighty Ducks.  
  
The Mighty Ducks to Varsity.  
  
I hate my life sometimes.  
  
Sure all my ex-friends think that I have everything - hockey skills, money, a good home life . . . they don't know how far from the truth they are.  
  
I'm good at hockey, sure, but that's only cause I've been practicing ever since I was six. I didn't even want to start it! I was too afraid that I'd slip on the ice and hurt myself, can you believe.  
  
Money? Well, money can't buy you happiness. Or love. Two things that I am deprived of at home. In fact, the only time I've ever been truly happy was with the Ducks. But now . . . now that's gone down the drain.  
  
A good home life. Something that I've never had. I mean, Mum practically ignores me unless she's cooking me dinner or taking me to some fancy party with her, my older brother Brad's never home and when he is, he's piss drunk and in no mood to talk cos he keeps slurring his words and saying nonsense, and my father . . . well, my father's just a . . . to sum him up in one word (now I know that I don't swear and stuff, but this calls for a change): bastard.  
  
He's always pressurizing me to be the best in EVERYTHING - something that I will never be able to achieve. All my life I have had it drilled into me that if I have money, I should make the most of it and become the best. In fact, I'm sure that my dear old dad bought me onto the Hawks. Everything I do is a disappointment to him - the only time he's proud of me is when I get onto Varsity - and I'm being torn apart inside.  
  
If he's not lecturing me to be the best in everything, or asking me if me and my team beat some other hockey team, or if my grades are straight As, he ignores me. Completely. Never a 'hello', or a 'good morning', or a 'goodnight', or a 'how was school, Adam?'. In fact, I'm pretty sure that my dad's forgotten my name. Because after all, when he looks at me, all he sees is himself.  
  
Idiot.  
  
And sometimes, he comes home drunk - completely smashed. Even more than Brad, who always manages to sleep it off, and only gets away with a headache in the morning. But when Dad's drunk . . . let's just say that I always hope that I'm asleep when he comes home.  
  
I usually am, in fact, and he has to take to smashing up chairs, and in the morning, blame it on me, and say that if I wasn't always such an 'insolent little shit', he wouldn't be drinking. So, of course, it's my fault, as usual. In fact, he came home drunk just before I got into Eden Hall. He told me that it was my fault that I got INTO Eden Hall - which didn't really make sense, but hey, he was drunk. And it was 'all my fault', as always. I've still got the bruises to prove it.  
  
But he doesn't hit me often. It only happens a few times a month - nothing bad, really. Just a few nosebleeds, headaches and stitches. Nothing big. OK, I'm repeating myself here.  
  
But sometimes, I really do wish that I had someone to talk to about it. Charlie was the person I came closest to telling . . . but now he hates me. And there's no one else I can possibly think of telling.  
  
Julie's still nice to me - you can see that she's trying to ignore it when her friends slag me off - I sure do, since my Dad insults me and puts me down every other second - and she's in most of my Advanced classes, but I'm no where near as close to her as I was to Charlie.  
  
Could I tell someone in Varsity? Highly unlikely. Even though I'm on their team, I don't feel like I belong. I even asked specifically to have my own dorm room, since my house was too far away for me to get there everyday - and I didn't want to come home. And I also didn't want to have to share my room with any seniors.  
  
I mean, the whole of the Varsity hockey team is made up of seniors . . . apart from me. I'm just a lowly freshman.  
  
Plus, I don't like any of them, really. The only one of them that seems alright is Scooter (and no, it's not his real name). Me and him have something in common; we both think that Cole is as thick as a brick. I mean, honestly - although he's really big and bulky and all that, he has the intelligence of a TOMATO. Oh, and we like hockey. Scooter and I, I mean. Only he's the goalie and I'm the shooter.  
  
But still, I don't feel as close to him as I do - I mean DID - to Charlie.  
  
Just thinking about him pangs. These days I'm so lonely - I have no one to talk to apart from my team mates and I've already been here a week.  
  
Come to think of it, Riley (the captain) has been pretty friendly to me for one reason or another. He keeps wanting to talk to me and sit next to me at lunch. And I can't say that I mind conversing with someone who doesn't flinch at the sight of me, ignores me, or starts slagging me off to my face. But I can't say that it's been exactly comfortable either.  
  
I don't like him that much, anyway. I mean, all he does is insult other people. Then he tells me he likes the way I do my hair. Then he continues insulting people. In fact, one time, I could've sworn that he said that I had a sexy voice . . . but he was probably just kidding around. I sure hope he was - it would have put me in a very awkward position if he was attempting to hit on me. Because he just . . . isn't my type. The types of guys (yes, I'm gay, and, yes, a great age to decide that at, Adam - gay at fourteen, wow, your father sure must be proud of you - as if he knows) I like are quite tall with an athletic build, and dark, curly hair, and chocolate brown eyes that-  
  
Oh my.  
  
I think that . . . I think that I was just imagining Charlie.  
  
No, no, I'm sure I wasn't. I was just . . . just imagining . . . an imaginary . . . person. Yeah, that's it. And imaginary person that I made up.  
  
Actually, Charlie's being a bit of a prick at the moment. I mean, it's not like I CHOSE to play to Varsity - Coach Orion put me there.  
  
Charlie.  
  
It's just Charlie, Charlie, Charlie these days.  
  
He's the one thing that's constantly on my mind. I miss him. I used to be able to tell him things. Not everything, mind you, since I knew he'd blow his top if he found out how things were at home - he's very protective of his friends - but I still told him some things.  
  
Like that I'm gay.  
  
I was so nervous when I told him. I was afraid that he'd lose it and start yelling at me, or something like that. But he didn't. He was understanding, and he even told me that it's nothing to be ashamed about.  
  
Oh damn, I've just had a thought . . . what if Charlie . . . what if . . . what if he . . . what if he hates me so much that he spreads it around? I'll be in so much trouble with my dad, with my team mates, with EVERYONE. I know how they treat 'fags' in this school . . . and it isn't good.  
  
But Charlie wouldn't tell anyone, would he? He's trustworthy. He can keep a secret, ever if I'm on the opposite team.  
  
Can't he?  
  
- Adam Leonarde Banks, currently Newbie In Varsity 


	3. ENTRY TWO Charlie

A/N: Hiya! I would like to start off this a/n by thanking everyone who reviewed. THANK YOU!! And I would like to FINISH this a/n by begging you all to continue/start reviewing. PLEASE CONTINUE/START REVIEWING THIS STORY!!!  
  
PS: WHAT COLOUR ARE CHARLIE'S EYES????  
  
crazy4nc128 - Well if Riley sounds nice to you right now . . . don't get used to it, lol. I'm just forewarning you, because he is about to become very twisted . . . (intriguing, no?) And, I am afraid to tell you that you are right. The only person that Adam wants to kiss him is . . . well . . . you know who it is. You do get points for trying, though! I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. And yes, Charlie is a prick who should have a bunch of rotten gherkins thrown at him. He's about to become a bit more prick-ish in this chapter. I think.  
  
kellyerielf - Heh heh. Yeah, being hit on by Riley - 'Ek' is a good word to describe it. And I would just like to say . . . I love Chadam. Chadam rocks. Makes you wonder what slash pairing the story's gonna have, doesn't it? *whistles innocently as if she didn't just give away what slash pairing this story is going to have* (And just to let you know, I can't whistle.) Glad you like the journal thing! Also glad that you like his middle name! I just thought that the Adam actor in D3 (what IS his name, by the way?) looked kind of Italian. Ish. Not really. But still. I thought that the name Leonarde would suit him, so that's how I got the name Leonarde! By thinking that it would suit Banksie. OK, I'm rambling . . .  
  
Nellie2 - Yay! That was what the whole journal thing was for. I mean, to get both their points of view. So, yeah. I'm glad you like it!  
  
Kshyne99 - Yeah, I wanted to get Adam sympathy. I don't know why . . . but I just felt like it, lol! Yes, and like I have mentioned before, Charlie is a prick who should have rotten gherkins thrown at him. Glad that you thought Riley hitting on Adam funny! It won't be so funny when - *smacks hand over mouth as she realises she was just about to spoil something* Silly Maz, bad Maz, BAD! *smacks herself on head* Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! And you're welcome for the shoutout. I'll be doing it every chapter now! I just hope that my Thank-yous won't be longer than the actual chapter . . .  
  
Melodie - Yay! Glad you like. Hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
Cards - Yup, Adam is a problem-filled guy! I hope that I got him down right last chapter! I dunno about Charlie, though. *gulp* He's kinda hard to write . . . sometimes. But now he's getting easier to write! YAY!  
  
Flat*Out*Crazy - Lol! Glad that bit amused you! And I'm also glad that you enjoy how it alters between both their journals. A lot of people seemed to like that thing with Riley hitting on poor ickle Adam! Which is good. But scary.  
  
LB - Don't we all, LB, don't we all. Feel sorry for Banksie, that is. And, yes, it IS scary. Here's the next chapter (I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long)!  
  
~~~~~~~~ Behind The Walls ~~~~~~~~  
  
ENTRY TWO - Charlie  
  
Damn, I'm tired. This is just gonna be a short entry cos my arms are physically aching. Owwww. And why did I just bother writing that?  
  
We just had our first Eden Hall game against a visiting team.  
  
Damn - I forgot to write Dear Journal again. Oh, fuck it, who really starts journals with 'Dear Journal' anyway? It's just SLUPIP. And that was supposed to be STUPID but came out SLUPIP.  
  
I'm just so fucking tired. Not to mention pissed off. At the Varsity Warriors.  
  
Big surprise.  
  
We were doing alright the first half of the game we scored 9 points. But then things started getting rough, and the visiting team scored 9 points in fifteen fucking minutes! Oh yeah, and I got put in the box just cos I slammed my hockey stick against the goal posts, breaking it.  
  
But I didn't have to get two minutes in the fucking box for it!  
  
After the game, things got a bit heated in the changing rooms cos we were all pretty wound up.  
  
Fulton called Russ a sell-out and Russ called Fulton a punk. Connie even told Guy that he didn't play hard enough or some shit like that. And I . . . I was just pissed off cos we hadn't managed to win the game.  
  
And then Coach Orion had the nerve to criticise us!  
  
I mean, what the fuck does that man want? First he wants good defence, then he wants us to score and win, and then he's on with the defence thing again! That prick sometimes makes me so mad I want to just . . . just . . . I dunno . . . ARGH! He is SUCH an annoying shithead!  
  
It was kind of weird playing without Banks. I mean, he's always been the star player and I, the Captain and main shooter. Oh yeah, and did I mention how PISSED OFF I was at not being Captain anymore?  
  
Apparently, the Captain is 'to be determined' according to Guy - he's the one that read most of our positions off that notice board a few weeks ago.  
  
Banks is such a bastard.  
  
Wow, that was random but true. He is.  
  
I've seen him in the halls, walking around, being all super-duper-we're-the- bestest-pals-ever with Riley and his goons. I'm not surprised if he's shagging the captain of the Varsity Warriors just to remain in their team - I mean, freshmen and seniors just don't mix, and Banks DID tell me he was gay . . .  
  
Yeah, he's got to be shagging Riley.  
  
And for some weird reason, I don't get some sort of weird vindictive pleasure from thinking that Adam - I mean Banks - is whoring himself out to Riley. Not that he is, I'm just being a prick. No, I am NOT being a prick, for Banks deserves it.  
  
But still.  
  
Just thinking about him and Riley together gives me a weird feeling in my stomach . . . it's kind of like hunger . . . only without the actual wanting of food. Or wanting of anything, for that matter.  
  
OK, so maybe it ISN'T like hunger.  
  
It's like . . . like . . . oh hell, I dunno. Just this weird, twisting feeling in the bottom of my stomach that . . . twists and . . . and writhes and . . .  
  
Oh, forget it. I'm useless at explaining feelings. Even feelings of hunger.  
  
Oh yeah, I just remembered, Julie said that Ada - dammit, I mean BANKS - was cheering for us at the match.  
  
Highly unlikely.  
  
I do think she's worried about him, though.  
  
Apparently he stood up and started clapping wildly when I shot the first goal, but then Riley grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down, squeezing hard before letting go. And apparently Banksie - um, Banks - had an uncomfortable expression on his face, and after that, he didn't stand up to clap anymore. Like, at all. He still clapped, but according to her, it was with slightly less spirit than before.  
  
Her conclusion is that he's being hideously bullied and threatened by all the players on Varsity. Apart from the goalie cos he's too cute to be a bully.  
  
Hey - her words, not mine.  
  
But that's just according to Julie. And she gets worried about the slightest thing, so it's obviously nothing for ME to worry about.  
  
Is it?  
  
No, no, it isn't. I mean, why do I care anyway? It's just Banks.  
  
Oh yeah, and when we (the Eden Hall Warriors, I mean) were just warming up, skating around the rink and all, I felt someone watching me.  
  
And there was Banks, with the whole Varsity team behind him (OK, some were in front of him, but that doesn't really matter, now, does it?), staring at me. What is his PROBLEM?  
  
Anyway, I stared at him - looked right into his baby blue eyes which were still visible even if I'm, like, a hundred yards away, and I noticed that now they had a bit of grey in them (not that that's important or anything) - and he stared at me. But for some reason, after just a few seconds of staring at each other, we both looked away.  
  
And I don't know why, but I resisted the urge to look at him all the way through the game. I mean, why SHOULD I look at him? He's nothing special, is he? Well, he is. But I mean . . . no, he ISN'T.  
  
Why do I fucking CARE if he's special or not, all that matters is that he's-  
  
Banksie.  
  
Cake-eater.  
  
Now why the hell did I just write down his nicknames when I SWORE to myself that I'd never call him by them again?  
  
Adam.  
  
And his first name? Argh, that game has got me delirious! I am soooooooo fucking tired.  
  
And right now I just remembered why I'm so pissed off at the Varsity Warriors. After the game, we found all our clothes under the showers, and on the wall, written in foam, were 'Freshmen Stink'.  
  
Kind of hypocritical considering the fact that Banks is on their team.  
  
Anyway, to get them back, Russ, Kenny and Connie 'borrowed' this large cylindrical foam-ice-filled-thing from the Chem lab and sprayed it all over Varsity's lockers and jackets.  
  
Russ told me that they gave Banks the full pressure.  
  
That made me grin.  
  
Bloody hell, this was SUPPOSED to be a short entry cause I'm so fucking tired! What has been WITH me lately?  
  
OK, I think I'm losing my mind. If I'm tired, why aren't I asleep? Why am I busy wasting precious SLEEPING TIME writing in this stupid journal that someone bought me for Christmas?  
  
Oh shit.  
  
And do you know who bought me this journal last Christmas?  
  
That's right, you guessed it.  
  
Adam.  
  
- Charlie Conway - the boy who meant to write Banks, but wrote Adam by accident because his pen slipped 


	4. ENTRY TWO Adam

A/N: *squeal* OMG! Do you know what I found out? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT??? I read somewhere that there's a rumour that there's going to be a D4 - a fourth movie! With the SAME ACTORS and the characters ALL GROWN UP and- *squeals loudly* OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! I am just SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! *jumps up and down while screaming in delight* But it IS only a rumour. But still . . . just imagine . . . Joshua Jackson (Charlie), looking as he does now . . . alongside Vincent Angelo LaRusso (Adam), whom I am very intrigued about (I mean, to find out what he looks like now, that is heheheh) . . . *starts hyperventilating and has to breath into a paper bag*  
  
I am calm. I am calm, I am calm. I am CALM.  
  
But still, OMG! But sadly, it's only a rumour. *sniff* Has anyone else heard that anywhere? Oh, and does anyone know where I can get pictures of scenes from the third Mighty Ducks movie (preferably with Charlie and Adam in them)???  
  
Oh, also . . . do you know what else I found out? Some of you might already know this, but for those who don't, I will inform you that in the third Mighty Ducks movie, Joshua and Vincent (Charlie and Adam's alter-egos) were both eighteen! Or seventeen. Depending on if the movie was made in spring or in autumn. Anyway, Joshua Jackson's birthday is on the 11th of June, and Vincet Angelo LaRusso's birthday is on the 16th of May - which makes him almost a month older than Josh! But in my story, Charlie is older than Adam. And I have no idea if I have just amazed/disgusted/offended/excited/indifferent-ed you, but wheeeeeee! I am so hYpEr!!!  
  
Oh yes, and Josh and Vinnie are both twenty-five years old now!!! Not that you care, or anything . . . but still, it was VERY exciting to know when I found out about it.  
  
And now, (finally), the important bit of my A/N: the thank-yous . . .  
  
Nellie2 - Yes, you are right. At least, I think you're right . . . *stops to ponder* Anyhow, I'm glad that you're loving it! And I hope that you also like this chapter, which is (so far) the longest one! Wheeeee!  
  
Flat*Out*Crazy - I understand. I'm very easily amused too. And don't worry, I won't sue you. *grins* Hope you like this chapter!  
  
Cards - Glad that you think that Charlie is 'funnah'. And yeah, a good way of making them come out of the closet! Enjoy this chapter!  
  
percussion - Oooh, a new reviewer! 'Tis true . . . Adam's got about a billion different names. *smiles* That bit you mentioned from D1 DOES sound rather disturbing . . . but sadly, I haven't watched D1 or D2 for about FIVE BLOODY YEARS!!! WHY don't they show it on TV like they do D3??? I mean, SOME of us haven't watched the first two movies for FIVE YEARS!!! *has to breathe into a paper bag again* Anyway, enjoy the chapter! And please keep reviewing!  
  
crazy4nc128 - You're right. Charlie is a VERY stupid prick indeed. But hey, I'm the one that made him like that! *starts to worry* Not that you should blame ME for his actions, or anything! *nervous laugh* Ahem. Anyway, Julie's just the one that's VOICING her cares/fears/whatever for/about Adam. Thank you for calling that chapter fantastic! *smiles* Hey, when are you gonna update 'Realization'? And, um, Riley's gonna be . . . kind of . . . bad in this chapter. And in Adam's third entry . . . well, it might just put you off him completely. Like, for life. I hope I have intrigued you! *starts beaming madly*  
  
lrigelbbub - Oooh, ANOTHER new reviewer! YAY! *jumps up and down with joy* Yeah, their journals kind of contain their thoughts. Well, I mean, of course they do! They're JOURNALS! *smacks self on head for being so silly* Hope you like this chapter! Oh, and please keep reviewing!  
  
kellyerielf - Thanks for letting me know his name! I agree with you. Charlie is a dork. AND a prick. AND extremely blind. Well, about the 'shagging' term . . . actually, I am British. *looks horrified at what she just said, that is, wrote* OMG! No, I am NOT British! I just live there. In Britain, I mean. In London, actually. But still, I wasn't born here (by 'here' I mean in the UK). And it isn't my mother tongue either! Teehee! Anyway, please don't get put off by me living in England! (Oh, and HP ROCKS and so does 'shagging'! ; P) Enjoy this chapter!!!  
  
LB - I'm glad that you can identify with Charlie! Yes, Adam SHOULD be scared. In fact . . . read this chapter. It'll go into why Riley's 'paying way too much attention to him'. And it won't be pretty. *grins* I've always wanted to say that! Oh, ANOTHER good word to describe Charlie! Now we've got; prick, dork, and oblivious! YAY! This is the Conway Thesaurus - Many Different Words To Describe What An Idiot Charlie Is. And you're right . . . Julie HAS got good taste in boys . . . I agree with what you said about Scooter there. Keep leaving long reviews, honey, I LOVE THEM! And I kick @$$? Really? *blushes and beams madly* Enjoy this chapter!!!  
  
Gothic Author - And ANOTHER new reviewer! |Gothic Author - And ANOTHER new reviewer! Yay! Yes, Charlie IS rather delusioned, isn't he? So we've got another word for the Conway Thesaurus - Many Different Words To Describe What An Idiot Charlie Is - delusional. Hope you like this chapter! Oh, and please keep reviewing!  
  
~~~~~~~~ Behind The Walls ~~~~~~~~  
  
ENTRY TWO - Adam  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I can't believe it.  
  
I simply can NOT believe it.  
  
I am currently on my bed in the room that I have all to myself, the lights are off, but I've got my bedside light on, and I am writing in this journal.  
  
Rick Riley kissed me.  
  
I mean actually kissed. As in, properly kissed me. With tongues and all that.  
  
My first kiss . . . with Rick RILEY.  
  
And I didn't even want it to HAPPEN!  
  
It happened right before the game.  
  
The Eden Hall Warriors were playing against some weird visiting team (I can't remember what they're called) today. We were going to sit in the stands because, naturally, the Varsity team wanted to observe the Eden Hall Warriors' skills and all. I had opened the door to my room, and had come face to face with my new captain.  
  
"Hi Banksie," he sort of . . . purred (there's no other word to describe it, really).  
  
"Um, hi, Riley," I said nervously. I didn't know what, but something about him made me slightly apprehensive around him. Right now I realise that maybe it was his PERVINESS that made me so anxious.  
  
"Are you coming to watch the game with us?" he asked.  
  
"Er . . . yeah. Um, we better get going," I said, even though the game didn't start for another twenty-or-so minutes. I tried to move around him, but he blocked my way. "Did you . . . d-d-did you want anything?" I had no idea what made me stutter. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at me? Perhaps it made me feel intimidated?  
  
"Oh yeah, I did want something, actually," he said casually, stepping into my room and closing the door behind him. I involuntarily took a step back. If you weren't there (which you weren't) you wouldn't know how I felt, but just then I felt . . . I dunno. Frightened, I guess.  
  
I'm not that good with feelings and all. But . . . yeah, I was definitely uneasy.  
  
Especially when he started taking slow strides towards me, and made me move backwards.  
  
"And . . . and what do you want?" I asked, my voice surprisingly small - by this time he had cornered me against a wall.  
  
He smiled at me.  
  
"You," he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
And then he grabbed my shirt and roughly slammed his mouth against mine.  
  
Shock.  
  
That was all I felt at that moment. And I was still feeling shocked when he decided to push his tongue into my mouth. It was horrible - he tasted of cigarettes and vinegar, and he was practically gagging me by shoving his tongue down my throat.  
  
Eventually I came to my senses and pushed him away.  
  
I'm not exactly small, but Riley is taller and way more muscle-y than me.  
  
So he pinned my arms up over my head, against the wall, and attacked my mouth with his again.  
  
And then one of his hands . . . one of his hands started trailing down my . . . down my chest . . . and . . . and he rested it on my . . . on my . . . well, you know . . . my . . . PARTS.  
  
By then I was getting really scared, because no matter how much I struggled, I couldn't free my hands.  
  
Luckily, I was saved a second later, when someone knocked on the door.  
  
"Banksie? Are you in there?" it was Scooter.  
  
Riley immediately pulled away from me, looking slightly flushed.  
  
Scooter let himself into my room after a few seconds. His eyes quickly darted in between me and his team captain, and I think that he noticed Riley's slightly erratic breathing.  
  
"We're all gonna go now, guys. We don't wanna be late," Scooter said, a slightly suspicious look on his face.  
  
"Yeah . . . yeah, we should go. Come on, Banksie," Riley grinned in a feral- like manner at me.  
  
I couldn't say anything (since I was too stunned to speak), so I just nodded.  
  
What on earth - no, scrap that, what the HELL - just happened? was the thought that was running through my mind the whole time that the rest of the Warriors (from Varsity, I mean) and I made our way to the stands in the ice-skating hall.  
  
The Ducks were already on the rink, warming up.  
  
And then I just noticed something that I had never noticed before.  
  
Charlie is a really good skater.  
  
No, really. I mean, I knew that he was good at skating - he WAS the captain, after all - but I never knew that he could be so . . . well . . . passionate about something. But just then I noticed it.  
  
It's just . . . the way he was skating . . . there was something in his posture that said, 'I'm going to play my hardest today - I want respect from this school and I'm gonna EARN it by showing them how good the Mighty Ducks can play.'  
  
I think I was just kind of standing there, next to the stands, staring at him, and he must have felt someone staring at him because he looked right at me - right into my eyes - and then we both looked away. I think I must have been blushing. I couldn't help noticing, though, that Charlie avoided looking at me throughout the entire game. And also, I couldn't help noticing the sharp glare that Riley sent at the back of Charlie's head.  
  
And just then I remembered that Riley had touched me - not to mention kissed me - against my own will.  
  
Funny how just looking at Charlie can make me forget all that.  
  
But still, I turned around to try and make sure that I didn't end up sitting next to Riley, and was greeted by the sight of him sucking face with this blonde girl in cheerleader uniform.  
  
Key word being GIRL.  
  
She was obviously his girlfriend. So what the hell had he been doing kissing ME?  
  
And then I started to feel something more than shock. Disgust. Disgust with me, with him . . . what on earth possessed him to do that? I mean, he's a senior, he's the captain of the hockey team, he's got a blonde, big- breasted cheerleader girlfriend . . . what more does he want? What, does he get off on molesting freshmen or something?  
  
Those thoughts made me scowl, but I quickly wiped the look off my face as I sat next to Scooter. Riley, his girlfriend, Cole, and this other cheerleader were sitting behind us.  
  
Scooter's alright, really. He's not much of a follower of Riley - I mean, he doesn't bow down at his feet or anything, or succumb to his every wish, like Cole.  
  
"Hey, Banksie, what happened between you and Riley at your room today?" Scooter whispered to me while everyone else was filing into the hall.  
  
"N-nothing," I lied.  
  
I don't know why, but I didn't want him to know what Riley had really done. It might have disgusted him - he might have hated me, or something. And I didn't want to lose the second semi-friend that I had (the first being Julie).  
  
"But when I came in you looked kind of pale. Are you sure everything's alright?" he asked quietly, frowning slightly.  
  
"Yeah. Sure, Scooter. Everything's fine," I said, keeping my eyes on the rink.  
  
"Whatever you say, Banksie. But if you have any problems . . . you can come to me, OK?" he offered, which was sweet of him, I guess. In a kind of big- brotherly way.  
  
I gave him a small grin.  
  
"Thanks," I said.  
  
Then the game started.  
  
It had barely been going on ten seconds, when Charlie scored a goal.  
  
It was AMAZING - it had to have been the quickest time he'd ever scored a goal in his whole hockey career!  
  
And, of course, since the Mighty Ducks (well, the Eden Hall Warriors now), had been my previous team, I stood up and started clapping loudly.  
  
Charlie really had a lot of talent on the rink.  
  
Not like me, the boy who never wanted to play hockey in the first place but was forced to by his father. No, Charlie has a natural talent that shows every time we play a game.  
  
And I'd only noticed it a few seconds ago.  
  
Anyway, while I was clapping, I felt this large hand on my shoulder, pushing me back to my seat roughly. It belonged to Riley.  
  
So he gave my shoulder a hard squeeze (which instantly made me feel sick - I didn't want his hand squeezing ANY part of my body, thank you), and removed it. I've even got a large bruise on my shoulder now. Damn, he squeezes REALLY hard.  
  
Then, about half way through the game, he had his hand nestled 'casually' on the back of my shoulder, making sure that I didn't stand up to clap anymore.  
  
Scooter didn't seem to have noticed - he was too busy staring at Julie who was STARING AT ME.  
  
Oh, dammit. I've just realised. What if she saw that Riley constantly had his hand behind my shoulder? Would she suspect anything? Would she tell Charlie?  
  
Wait a second, I'm worrying about nothing here, there's nothing TO suspect.  
  
But still . . . I don't want anybody knowing that my new Captain practically assaulted me. Especially not Charlie.  
  
I don't know why. But . . . he would definitely be disgusted with me, and say that it was all my fault . . . which it is, probably.  
  
I mean, I had probably given out all these signals, or something, to Riley, and . . . and . . .  
  
That gave him the right to molest me?  
  
Well, no, but . . .  
  
Just the thought of Charlie's blue-green eyes (which often remind me of the sea) filling up with disgust . . . it's enough to make me wanna cry.  
  
I know what you're probably thinking: it's not like we're best friends anymore, so it shouldn't bother me too much.  
  
But it does.  
  
And the worst thing is, I think I know why.  
  
I think I know why I care so much about what Charlie thinks of me.  
  
Not Fulton, not Goldberg, not Averman . . .  
  
But Charlie.  
  
The reason being . . .  
  
I am in love with him.  
  
So that is why it hurt when later, after the Eden Hall Warriors' game (in which they drew), after my practice with the Warriors, when we came back to our locker room, we found it to be completely frozen. Everything - the lockers, the jackets. And on the wall there were written the words, 'Varsity sucks ice'.  
  
But that's not what hurt me most.  
  
No, what hurt me most was the fact that MY jacket and MY locker had got full power of the freezing thingy - I could tell because I had used one of them freezy thingies before.  
  
Then Riley got mad, growled out the word, "Ducks," and smashed his locker and jacket, shards of frozen glass flying outwards. Some of it almost cut me on the neck. Almost.  
  
And now all I want to know is this:  
  
Why does everyone hate me?  
  
- Adam Leonarde Banks, the boy with the fucked up life 


	5. ENTRY THREE Charlie

A/N: I would like to start off by apologising for the long wait for this chapter. I am soooo sorry! It just took me absolutely AGES to write my a/n cos I'm so lazy. *looks embarrassed* Moving on . . .  
  
OMG!!!!! Vincent LaRusso is SO FUCKING CUTE AT TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD!!! I'm SERIOUS! Just go on studentfilms.com, find a film called Fecal Matters, and watch it! It has him in it! And he is sooooo damn sexy with his shirt off! Yes, his shirt OFF! Thank you so so soooooooooooo much anne918 for giving me the website!  
  
This entry is kind of short-ish, but do not fear. It features Charlie in that happy, HAPPY place called Denial (trust me, Denial is one of the most happy places you could be - I speak from experience). Anyway, that's not the reason you should not fear its shortness. The reason you should not fear this chapter's shortness is because Adam's entry is going to be WAY longer . . . because he has a LOT more to say. (Be afraid, be very afraid!)  
  
OK, now, during the time in the cafeteria (in this chapter), I realise that Charlie had no way of seeing Banksie's face, since Banksie was right behind him, but imagine that he turned around to look at him (and Riley). If you get what I mean. If not, just watch D3 again - this chapter takes place during that cafeteria bit after the Blake game.  
  
Oh, and if you people have any more words for the 'Conway Thesaurus - Words To Describe What An Idiot Charlie Is', please send them in. That is, write them in. In your review. So far we've got; delusional, dork, oblivious, prick.  
  
ATTENTION!!!!! IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!!! OK everyone, if you all want to get a D4 (a fourth Mighty Ducks movie), go on this address (without the spaces) and SIGN THE PETITION:  
  
w w w . p e t i t i o n o n l i n e . c o m / d 4 d u c k s  
  
You can just use your first name and all they need is your email address and any additional comments you might have. They only have 726 signatures (I signed the 706th)! They will need a LOT more!!! Anyway . . . go forth my children and SIGN THE PETITION IF YOU WANT A D4!!! Oh yeah, and something else that might help is if you can email Disney (but sadly I don't have their email address) and ask for a fourth Mighty Ducks movie with the SAME ACTORS AND ACTRESSES. Thank you for paying attention to this attention- seeking attempting-to-persuade-Disney-to-make-a-D4 note.  
  
*THANK YOUs:*  
  
percussion - Yaha, Riley is an eeevil poo. He is the Eeevilest Poo of All Poos. But in the next chapter (Adam's third entry) he is about to become much, MUCH more eeeeeeevil . . . Anyway, I heard the D4 rumour mostly on discussion boards about the Mighty Ducks. Oh, and make sure you read the ATTENTION!!!!! note right before the thank-yous.  
  
lrigelbbub - I know, I know. Riley is the Pirckmeister. The next chapter (Adam's third entry) will be much sadder than his last entry. Much, MUCH sadder. I hope I haven't given anything away! But still, sadness ahoy in the next chapter! Oh, and Charlie touching Adam! Oooh, now that's given me ideas, lol! ; - )  
  
anne918 - Thank you so so SO much for giving me that website with dear young (or should that be old?) Sween in it! Yes, Vincent is FIT without a shirt! Whooo! I am SO glad I got to see that! And he is actually better looking than he was in D3! Anyway, read the ATTENTION!!!!! note in order to find out how we might get a D4. Please continue reviewing!  
  
Nellie2 - Yay! Glad you're loving it and here's the next chapter! I'm really sorry it took so long, though. It took me ages and ages and AGES . . . to write my a/n. Yeah, I know, I'm lazy. *grins*  
  
Gothic Author - I don't blame you! I feel bad for Adam too - and I'M the one who's writing him! Yay a new word for the Conway Thesaurus - idiot. And calling Riley a paedophilic bitch . . . I like that! *grins* I TOTALLY agree with you!  
  
crazy4nc128 - Umm, yes, I know you told me to update soon, and here I am updating after about 2 months so . . . sorry *blushes*. And you finished Realization! It is such a good fic!! I am eagerly awaiting the second chapter of the sequel now! Oh, and I'm glad I have intrigued you. So you better read the chapter after this! Hehe . . . but it's going to be kind of . . . well . . . bad, in a word. Bad as in . . . well, I won't say anymore. Enjoy this chapter (and the next one)!  
  
melodie - Yay! Glad you love it! And the Adam-sympathy will be increased times about a hundred (at least I think it will be) after the next chapter!  
  
kellyerielf - I am proud to say that you have a wide vocabulary! *grins* I'm sure that you will be happy to know that your adjectives (the ones that describe Riley, I mean) will be featured in the 'Rick Riley Thesaurus - the Thesaurus of Rick 'Paedophilic Bitch' Riley'. Scooter saving Banksie? Hmmm . . . nah, Scooter's a bit doofy and day-dreamy in this fic. But he might save him! Actually, on second thoughts, no. The saving will be left to Charlie . . . *wink*  
  
Melissa - Glad you likey! But . . . umm . . . I can't really fulfil your requests on not hurting Adam too much. I'm sorry! But what has to be done, has to be done, and if Banksie gets hurt in the process . . . well, he'll have Charlie to kiss him better. Hehe. Only Charlie is an oblivious prick so . . . *sighs* Keep on reviewing!  
  
Chronicles Bailey - And here's more! If you're incredibly sadistic, you will enjoy the next chapter. I hope. So read this chapter, and the next one, and keep on reviewing!  
  
A/N#2: Well, we have the 'Conway Thesaurus - Words To Describe What An Idiot Charlie Is', and now we have . . . *drum roll*  
  
The 'Rick Riley Thesaurus - the Thesaurus of Rick 'Paedophilic Bitch' Riley': bad, bastard, bitch, good-for-nothing, paedophilic, pain-in-the- ass, perverse, slimy, ugly.  
  
Woohooo - we've got a lotta words for this nasty piece of work! Keep 'em comin' in! (And I'm sure that the next chapter will cause you to send in a lot of . . . obscenities).  
  
And now . . . chapter five of Behind The Walls will commence!  
  
~~~~~~~~ Behind The Walls ~~~~~~~~  
  
ENTRY THREE - Charlie  
  
Right. Well. That does it.  
  
I think I'm kinda worried.  
  
OK, I'm admitting it. I'm worried. I'm worried about Banksie. (I've given up on my vow to only call him by his surname. It's just too damn hard! I still get an 'Adam' or a 'Banksie' in edgeways anyway.)  
  
I think that Julie's rubbing off on me. With her being all worried about him, it's starting to make ME doubt whether everything's alright.  
  
Anyway, at lunch time, the gang and I (not including Adam of course. Not that he's still in the gang. Or anything.) were sitting in the cafeteria, just talking with each other and minding our own business . . .  
  
Well, OK, Russ tried to teach Kenny how to trash talk by insulting this cheerleader and calling her an airhead (although she had very nice legs, Luis told me later - I didn't seem to notice; I was too busy looking around the cafeteria, wondering why Banksie hadn't come down for breakfast yet, not that I cared, or anything), and that almost got his face bashed in by the cheerleader's boyfriend; this big, beefy guy with the word 'PSYCHO' written all over him.  
  
And, yeah, of course Averman tried to show Russ how it was done, and called out an insult to this bald guy (who, when he turned around, was determined to be Averman's beloved science teacher), which, of course, got Averman detention for the rest of the week.  
  
And, yes, some random guy insulted Dwayne, who then attempted to throw a lasso at him (don't ask me where he got it from - I didn't even know that he was hiding it underneath the table), but was (luckily) stopped by Fulton looking at the random guy who had insulted Dwayne in a very threatening way, causing him to stutter out an apology, which calmed Dwayne down.  
  
Anyway, as I was saying - well, writing - we were all just minding our own business, when the whole Varsity team (with their beloved captain Rick Riley) leading them (and with Adam right behind him), walked up to our table (wearing new jackets, Kenny noticed).  
  
"Hey, congrats on the Blake game," Riley said, referring to yesterday's game against the visiting team, while smiling in this REALLY irritating way.  
  
"Yeah right, anytime," I scoffed slightly, thinking of the pathetic draw we got yesterday.  
  
"Hey, a point's a point. You guys really proved your guts. We're all Warriors now," he said. "So, you all set for dinner Friday?"  
  
Awww . . . was he asking us all out? How SWEET.  
  
Not.  
  
"Dinner?" Russ asked, not believing his ears. His thoughts were probably the same as mine.  
  
"It's an Eden Hall tradition. Varsity gotta treat the freshmen to dinner," Riley explained.  
  
And right then, I noticed something. Something about Adam. He was standing next to Riley, looking at him throughout his little speech about how 'we're all Warriors now'. The look in his eyes was . . . one of . . . well, Banksie doesn't let his emotions play out across his face, I can tell that after being his best friend for a while, so his expression was pretty much indifferent . . . but he had this sort of . . . strange look in his eyes. Fearful, is the only word I can think of to describe it.  
  
They now looked more grey than blue.  
  
"So, round up your posse and meet us at . . . six, at the Minnesota Club downtown. Anybody - " and blah blah blah, Riley was blabbering on about something or other. I was still kind of confused of why the Varsity Warriors had suddenly changed their feelings for us, and I looked up at Adam (without him noticing, of course), and another thing I noticed (apart from the fearful look in his eyes) was the bags that surrounded them. He couldn't have had more than three hours' sleep last night.  
  
Julie kicked me under the table, which was a sure sign that I needed to listen to what Riley was saying, instead of staring into Adam's eyes.  
  
OK, reading that sentence, it makes it sound as if we're some gross mushy- mushy COUPLE, with that me staring into his eyes shit. But I only meant that I was feeling kind of worried about how he looked, that's all.  
  
"And you guys do like steak and seafood, right?" Riley asked.  
  
This surprised me a bit. So he was actually SERIOUS about taking us all out to dinner? I turned around and looked up at him from my seat.  
  
"//Yeah// we do," I said.  
  
And just then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It could only have been Adam's. And for some weird reason, he quickly took it away when Riley shot him a look.  
  
Not that I wanted his hand to stay on my shoulder for a long period of time, or anything . . .  
  
But, I mean, it was weird. Why would he feel the need to touch my shoulder, anyway? What, do I have, like, shoulders that need constant (not that he's ever touched them before - I don't think) touching?  
  
And the way he took his hand away just from one look from Riley . . . if they really WERE fucking, then I'd say that Banksie was completely whipped.  
  
But now, thinking of Adam and Riley in that way . . . just gives me a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach.  
  
"Look, I don't like you pukes, alright?" We feel the exact same way about you, Cole, the exact same way about you . . . "But this is a tradition. And at Eden Hall I've learned to care about tradition." Oh, I highly doubt you've learned ANYTHING here, thickhead.  
  
So then some of the Varsity team started to walk out of the cafeteria, while we were all pondering whether we should go or not.  
  
"It's cool," Banksie said.  
  
So that sealed it. If Cake-eater said it was cool, then it was cool.  
  
Then there were basically a whole bunch of, "Yeah, it's cool"s and, "Yeah, we'll be there"s going around the table.  
  
But then when the rest of the Varsity team were leaving the cafeteria, and Adam was turning round, I saw that he had a thin red line on the underside of his jaw. I briefly wondered what it was, before I was distracted by something that was a purple-blue colour, just above his collarbone, near his shoulder. It looked suspiciously like a bruise.  
  
I wonder where he got it?  
  
Not that I'm worried, or anything. He probably got it from his practice. Yeah, that's it.  
  
After the whole Varsity team had left, Fulton suddenly stood up, claiming that he had homework to do.  
  
Which made the cheeseburger that Goldie was chewing fall right out of his mouth and Luis spit out his drink.  
  
Fulton? Doing HOMEWORK?!  
  
No way.  
  
But still, I didn't question his actions. He probably went to whine or mope or beat someone up or whatever he does to pass the time now that Portman's in Chicago.  
  
Oh yeah, and a few hours ago, I heard Julie and Connie discussing Banksie. Dammit, Julie's worry is SPREADING. I'm SERIOUS. It must be some sort of illness, or something.  
  
Julie told Connie about her fears that Adam was being bullied or something, cos he's seemed really subdued these past few days (although I must admit that we, as a team, haven't done anything to help that fact), and then Connie said that she'd noticed it too and had told Guy, who had just shrugged it off saying that Banksie was a big boy and could take care of himself. Which made Connie berate him so much that he hastily agreed with her decision that there was something wrong with Adam.  
  
Next thing you know we'll have ORION asking if #99 is alright.  
  
Anyway, I'm currently in my dorm, writing all this down as quick as I can, cos it's already five thirty five, and the whole gang are supposed to meet outside school to get to the club on time.  
  
Averman just knocked on my door.  
  
He yells it's time to go and if I don't get my lazy ass here in one minute flat, Julie's gonna have a fit because she wants to get there earlier so she can bag a seat next to Scooter (Varsity's goalie) and make eyes at him the whole night.  
  
There's a dull thud, a loud and whiny, "Dammit Julie what was that for?!" that can only have come from Averman, Julie's muttered, "Jerk!" and a few snickers.  
  
I'm guessing she punched his arm - she has one hell of a punch, so it's no surprise Averman's upset.  
  
OK, I really gotta go now.  
  
I'll fill you in on the dinner later - and I've got to look into this whole me-worrying-about-Adam thing.  
  
Ciao.  
  
- Charlie Conway, the guy who's gonna get his fifteen-year-old ass kicked by Cat Lady cos at this rate, we're gonna be late to the dinner 


	6. ENTRY THREE Adam

**A/N:** Oh my dear Merlin. I cannot believe. It has been TWELVE WHOLE MONTHS (practically) SINCE I LAST UPDATED! That's like, one year. Like 365 days. Almosy. ARGH! I'm such a bad mother! Not letting her children read Adam's third entry in his journal for so long! Well, to somehow appease my sense of guilt, this chapter is slightly longer than my usual ones (a whole 14 pages!), so you all dear readers/reviewers shall hopefully enjoy this!

**WARNINGS:** Now, for this chapter there are severe warnings. There is slash, obviously. There's bad language. There are people being forced to do things they don't want to do. There's violence. There are certain acts with/of a sexual nature. There is stuff that is rated PG-13 (or maybe it's R. I dunno, you tell me!). It is not good. It is twisted. It is something you should not read if you don't want to. Although, if you've come this far, I think you can probably handle it if you mentally prepare yourself. OK, it's not THAT bad ... well, it is. Err ... I dunno. Again, you tell me. It's my first time writing that kind of stuff. Anyway, just a warning. But don't be put off!

**THANK YOUs:**

anne918 – Yes, yes, Banksie is fit (as I think I've mentioned a few hundred times before), and Charlie is a clueless jerk. It's in his nature, you see ... ::sighs:: lol.

crazy4nc128 – 'Dumb fuck' ... I LOVE that expression! It's so cool! Glad you loved last chappie! Ooh, have you watched Cruel Intentions? Joshua Jackson (Charlie) is in it! I think he looks kinda cute there ... I mean, with his bleached blonde hair and his little nail file and his careless attitude (he plays a homosexual drug dealer) ... ::sighs wistfully:: if only we had gay drug dealers like that in reality lol. Only, without the drug-dealing part. Cos I don't do drugs. Much. Mwahaha, just kiddin'. : )

Banksiesbabe99 – Hey, didn't ur name use to be Nellie2? Lol. Like ur new one. It seems I've got quite a few people worrying about Adam ... I know, Vincent LaRusso is really fit! Hope you didn't get in too much trouble with your dad! I completely agree that in 'Fecal Matters', the guy who Vincent LaRusso kisses (don't get too excited, I meant on the forehead lol) is SO GODDAMN LUCKY! Grrrr ... oh, but I wouldn't eat shit for him. That's just ... icky, lol. Hope you enjoy this (somewhat evil) chapter!

Gothic Author – nods Hopefully Charlie will be tempted into becoming less of a dickhead after your silent treatment. Go you! : ) Oh, and as for Riley ... be my guest ... I'll provide the tools and nails and screwdrivers! ::smiles maniacally:: And I'm pretty sure that your dislike of Riley will increase just an iddle widdle bit after you've read this chapter ...

LB – Yes, in fact, I even find _myself_ hoping that Julie will do more than kick Charlie's butt ... and yet I'm the author of this story. Damn, I'm sad. Anyhow, yes, I'm guessing that Adam is kind of ... err ... 'whipped' in this chapter. Well, not so much 'whipped' as a word I'm not gonna use in case it might spoil this chappie for you. Ah well. Enjoy!

kellyerielf – Yes, yes, Charlie is definitely starting to worry about Adam. Finally. ::mutters:: Dumb fuck. Trick-or-treating ... sigh ... to think you reviewed this story around Hallow'een, and it's almost Hallow'een again, thus meaning that I have not update for ONE FRICKIN' YEAR. God, I hate myself (I just hope you don't!). Enjoy this chappie!

DanishGirl – blushes Here you are telling me to update soon, and here I am almost twelve fucking months alterlater, updating. How embarrassing ... anyway, I hope you will forgive me and enjoy this chapter.

atlanta's apples – ::blushes heavily:: Awww, thank you so much for your praise! 'Awesome' fic? Yay! Go me! Ahem. Yeah, I SINCERELY apologise that I haven't updated for one month (sooo embarrassing), but, in my weak defence, I've been busy! Yeah. I mean, you know, going out, pulling girls, lol. And guys. Playing pass the ice cube, getting drunk, doing homework, revising for five fucking tests I have right after half term. Etc, etc. Yeah, I'm a naughty girl! Anyhow ... ah, Lego-angst. How my heart ... twitters with ... err ... I dunno ... with whatsit, I guess. I haven't actually read much of that, but I'm sure that it has some sort of connection with Adam-angst. And yes, it WILL be Adam/Charlie, so enjoy this chappie!

**Behind The Walls**

ENTRY THREE – Adam

Dear Journal,

Something happened last night.

Something after Eden Hall's game against the visitors, something after my practice with the Warriors.

It gives me a horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach every time I think of it. I feel so dirty every time I think of ... what he made me do. I feel like throwing up every time I remember ...

It was about half twelve at night, and I was just getting ready for bed. I was only in my boxers since I had decided that it was too hot to sleep in a vest. I was just about to climb into my single bed, when there was a knock on my door.

I walked over to the door, wondering who could be wanting to see me at this hour.

It definitely wasn't Charlie, I knew that.

So I opened the door, and there was the person I wanted to see the LEAST. In fact, I would be happy if I NEVER had to see him again. Ever. In my entire life.

It was Riley.

"Hey Banksie, you weren't getting ready for bed, were you?" he asked me, grinning at my half-naked state. He himself was dressed only in a pair of boxers and a shirt.

I blushed and grabbed a polo shirt, trying to put it on quickly to avoid his prying eyes, but he grabbed my hands, discarding my polo shirt onto the floor, and let himself into my room, closing the door behind him.

It was dark, and moonlight was flooding into my room from the window.

"What do you want?" I asked, more bravely than I felt. I didn't want Riley's hands, lips, or any other part of him, anywhere near me.

"I thought that I gave you the answer to that yesterday, Banksie," he said, smiling in this eerie way.

And before I could say anything in reply to that comment, his hand went around the back of my neck, and he pulled me towards him, fixing his mouth onto mine, and thrusting his tongue down my throat.

The first time he kissed me he tasted of cigarettes and vinegar.

Now he just tasted of ashes.

Then he trailed one of his hands down my back, and started rubbing my ass, pulling me closer to him.

Using most of my strength, I shoved him away so roughly that he stumbled back slightly. He looked at me, dark eyes narrowing into slits.

"Didn't you like that, Banksie?" he asked, his voice strangely low.

I shook my head.

"Get out of my room, Riley," I told him quietly, although I was practically shaking in fear. What was it about me that he liked so much?

"This is just the beginning, Banksie," he said quietly.

I'll have to admit, this puzzled me slightly.

But he turned around, and walked out of my room.

I practically passed out in relief.

But just when I thought I was safe, in he came again. With two other members of Varsity. Cole, and someone else. Warring, I think his name was. Yeah, that's it. Nicholas Warring. He was almost as large as Cole, and had dark brown hair up in spikes. He didn't look like a guy to mess with.

My eyes went wide, and I heard Riley mutter, "Hold him back."

The next thing I knew, Cole and Warring had me pinned to the floor, face down.

"Look at me, Adam," Riley said in a coaxing voice.

I didn't move.

"Look at me!" he hissed, grabbing me by the hair and pulling me up.

I whimpered slightly as I looked into Riley's eyes.

They were usually dark, but this time ... they were almost black. He looked at my face intently, then licked his lips slightly. He let go of my hair suddenly, and I fell to the floor, bashing my chin against the ground. I winced slightly in pain.

"Now, what should I make him do, boys?" Riley asked Cole and Warring, who were holding me by the arms. They pulled me up to a standing position, and I saw them grin at each other.

"Get down on both knees, Banks," Riley commanded, his voice cold. "Get down on both knees, and suck me off."

I'm pretty sure that my eyes were as wide as saucers. I couldn't believe what he wanted me to do. Please let me wake up, please let this just be a nightmare, please, please, I remember thinking.

"I'm waiting, Banks," Riley said. Then he grinned. "Get down on both knees and blow me, like the slut you are."

I heard Warring chuckle at this.

I looked at Riley and (God knows what made me do it) spat in his face.

"You little bastard!" he hissed, backhanding me against my cheek.

Well, it was meant to be against my cheek, but I turned my head upwards slightly, so he only got the bottom of my jaw. I had quite a bit of practice with my father when it came to getting the shit beaten out of me. I find that if I get hit on the underside of my jaw, it tends to show up less, so there'll be less questions.

I opened my mouth, just to shout, 'Help!', but Cole slammed his hand against my mouth, so I couldn't talk. Since his hand was also covering my nose, I could also barely breathe.

"Oh no, Banksie. Don't even _think_ of screaming," Riley said, looking threatening. "If you do, it'll be a whole lot worse for you. Understand?" he asked quietly.

Since Cole was practically suffocating me, I nodded quickly. He removed his hand.

"Banks? Didn't you have a job to do?" Riley asked me mockingly.

"Yeah. A 'blow' job?" Cole said, and then the three Varsity players laughed harshly.

But I wasn't going to do it. Not in a million years.

"I'm not your whore, Riley!" I snarled at him, which made me sound braver than I was feeling. And I was feeling terrified out of my wits.

His eyes narrowed, and this time he landed a crucifying punch to my stomach, winding me slightly. I groaned in pain, falling to my knees, Cole and Warring still holding my arms so I couldn't punch out. One of them also had a beefy leg over both my legs, so I couldn't go anywhere.

"That's more like it, Banksie. I see you finally know your place. Down on your knees before me," Riley smirked. I looked up at him and sneered slightly. I was NOT going to do what he wanted me to do. "Now blow me," he commanded.

"No," I said, looking him straight in the eye.

He sighed.

"When will you learn, Adam?" I shuddered slightly at the way he said my first name. "_I _am the one in control here," he said, his hands massaging my shoulders, fingers biting into the bruise he left earlier that day, from pushing me down onto my seat too hard, when I was clapping for the Eden Hall Warriors.

"You own _shit_!" I spat.

His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Alright, that's it. Now, as much as I would hate to see your beautiful body all battered and broken, I'm afraid you asked for it. Sort him out, boys," he said, removing his hands from my shoulders.

And before I could say a thing, Cole rammed his fist into my gut. Again, and again and again.

All I could feel was this agonising pain in my stomach that wouldn't subside.

After Cole was done punching me in my stomach and chest, which made me feel like I couldn't breathe, Warring grabbed my left arm and started twisting it. Twisting it ... slowly, slowly ... painfully ... round ... I could hear this cracking which was probably my bones starting to break, and I whimpered, tears starting to run down my cheeks. It just hurt, it hurt so damn much!

"Stop!" I managed to utter out.

"Stop? You want me to tell them to stop?" Riley asked, a mocking smile on his face as he watched my arm practically being broken in front of him.

"Please," I am ashamed to say that I sounded pleading. But it felt like Warring was breaking my fucking arm! It just hurt so goddamn much!

Riley sighed.

"Stop," he said to Warring lazily. Warring obediently stopped twisting my arm. He let it go. It dropped down to my side limply.

"I don't think you'll be using that arm in hockey for a while, now, Banksie," Riley grinned at me. "Now. Where were we before you just asked to get the hell knocked out of you?" he paused, pretending to think deeply. "Ah, yes. You, sucking my cock," he said.

Cole and Warring laughed. Since I was struggling to get my breath back after all those crucifying punches, and with my almost-broken arm, and with my legs being pinned down by one of their legs, I was hardly going to get up and run out of the room.

But I still had no intention of doing what Riley wanted me to do. He did NOT own me. I wasn't going to do everything he asked me to. I was NOT his slave, and I most certainly wasn't his whore.

"Hurry up Banks, I don't have all night!" he snarled.

I was still on my knees, but I made no move to pull his boxers down, so he just decided to it himself. He pulled his boxers down and then before I knew what was happening, Warring or Cole had opened my mouth, and Riley just shoved himself into it.

"Suck me off _now_, Banks," Riley growled. "If you don't, I'll have Nick here," he nodded at Warring, "finish the job he started on your arm. And break your other arm, too, so you'll never be able to play hockey again! Now start sucking!"

My eyes widened for the millionth time that night as what was happening actually hit me. I was being forced to give a guy (that I had barely known for a week, may I add) head. If I didn't, I would get both my arms broken, and I wouldn't be able to play hockey anymore. That would mean I would have nothing to distract me about Charlie.

Charlie ...

My eyes teared up as I thought of him.

As much as I hate to admit that I did it ... I did what Riley wanted me to do.

"Oh yeah, suck it Banks," he moaned, his hands on my head, pulling me closer. I felt like gagging. But still ... I did it.

I sucked him off.

I had no idea what to do (after all, I'd never done this thing before – bloody hell, I'd only had my first kiss earlier that day!), but it seemed to be enough for him as he had his head thrown back and was moaning.

Tears started running down my cheeks again. Was this what my life had come to? I was in love with my ex-best friend, had been beaten up by two members of my hockey team, and was currently being forced to give my captain head.

Riley either didn't notice my tears, or didn't care.

I'm willing to bet on the latter.

He grunted suddenly, and came into my mouth. The second I felt the acidic taste on my tongue, I wanted to spit it out, but Riley held my head there until I had swallowed everything.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally pulled himself out of my mouth, and pulled his boxers up.

I barely resisted the urge to throw up right on the spot.

I didn't even feel Cole and Warring loosen their hold on me. I didn't feel them get up and move behind Riley. All I felt was sick.

Disgusting, dirty ... used.

Like a whore.

"Thanks for that, Banks," Riley said easily.

Tears were still dripping down my cheeks silently.

Riley knelt down so that he was face to face with me. He took something out of his pocket. Something that glistened in the moonlight ... a pocket knife.

I flinched as he put his hand on my shoulder, and held the knife to my throat.

"You tell anyone about our little 'bonding session', anyone at all ... and you're dead. Dead, understand me?" he hissed.

I nodded numbly, hardly even feeling the knife digging into my neck slightly.

Then he got his goons, and left my room. Smiling. Chattering happily away, as if he hadn't just done anything wrong.

The bastard.

The second the door of my room closed, I threw up all over the floor.

I was dirty. I was disgusting, dirty, and I didn't deserve Charlie. I didn't deserve ANYONE. I had just willingly sucked off Rick Riley – granted, he had threatened to break my arms so I would never play hockey again, but still. I had done it.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table.

It was quarter past two in the morning. They had been here for almost two hours.

As soon as I thought of what had happened again, I immediately felt the urge to throw up come back. So I just curled myself up into a ball, ignoring the pain in my stomach and chest, ignoring the numbness of my left arm, and tried to go to sleep, next to the sick on my floor.

I lay there for around two hours, feeling sick, feeling dirty, feeling used, feeling ... sorry for myself, I guess.

Then I closed my eyes.

The next time I opened them, it was six thirty in the morning, so at least I got SOME sleep.

I pulled myself up off the floor, ignored my aching bones and the numbness in my left arm, and grabbed some tissues and tried to clean up the mess on the floor that was my sick.

After I had disposed of it (only using my right arm, of course – I don't think I can ever hold a hockey stick in my left arm again), I stood, half-naked, in front of my full-length mirror.

As I looked closely at it, I saw that I was holding my left arm with my elbow jutting out to the side at a funny angle, making it look as though it HAD indeed been broken. I tried to move it back into a normal position, but the pain was so much that I gave up after two tries.

I had bags under my eyes, and my whole body was covered in bruises. My stomach had (what looked like) about five blue-black bruises, one on top of the other in a line. Souvenirs of Cole's fist. In the middle of my chest there was a large purple-green bruise, which hurt like hell when I traced the outline with my fingers. I had a cut on my neck, but it was near the underside of my jaw, so I doubted anyone would notice. And even if they did, they probably wouldn't care. I mean, who would? I'm a hockey player. Hockey players have accidents at their practices all the time. There were also a number of blue-purple bruises on my shoulders. Where I got them all, I didn't know. But I could probably guess that it was from last night.

Or, more specifically, early this morning.

All in all, I looked like shit.

As I thought about what happened again, I felt the sudden urge to brush my teeth. I mean, really. Just the memory of the taste of the-

I quickly rushed to the bathroom, put a lot of toothpaste on my toothbrush and brushed my teeth. I brushed and brushed and brushed. Brushed until my gums bled. But no matter how hard I brushed, I still couldn't get the horrible taste out of my mouth.

After I walked out of my bathroom, painfully (and very, VERY slowly) I got changed, trying not to accidentally touch any of my wounds. Just as I had finished getting changed, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called out, my voice strangely raspy, so I tried to clear my throat, praying that the person outside my door wasn't Riley who was coming to have another 'bonding session' with me.

Thankfully, it was Scooter.

"Hey Banksie," he smiled cheerfully. His smile faded as he looked at my face. "Damn, man ... you look like shit," he said.

"I noticed," I said dryly.

"Didn't get enough sleep last night?" he asked me.

I shook my head.

"Well anyway, Riley," I flinched involuntarily at the name, but Scooter didn't notice, "said that we're all gonna take the Eden Hall hockey team to dinner tonight. It's gonna be at the Minnesota club, alright? And he says he'll give you a lift in his car. Oh yeah, and I also wanted to tell you that breakfast is almost finished," he said.

I thought of food.

Then I turned around, and threw up all over my bed.

As I looked back at Scooter, I saw his face was slightly creased with worry.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked me.

"No," I told him honestly.

"You wanna go to the nurse?"

I shook my head vigorously. I didn't need anyone seeing my bruises. That would mean questions. And I hate questions. Mostly because I can never answer them.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Alright then ... well, the team's going down to the cafeteria to let the JV know about the dinner. You wanna come?" he asked.

"In a minute," I told him, and then I made him wait outside my door for me.

I took in a deep breath through my nose and let it out from my mouth slowly. Then I just stood there for a few minutes, mentally preparing myself. I mean, how was I supposed to look at Riley again? After what I did ... what he made me do.

And how the hell was I ever supposed to look Charlie in the eye again, knowing that I'm in love with him and he'll never love me back, and also knowing that he'd be disgusted if I ever told him about what happened last night? I mean, the guy handle the fact that his ex- best friend is gay ... but could he handle the fact that his gay ex- best friend gave head to the team captain of Varsity, who he absolutely hates? No way.

I almost didn't go down to the cafeteria. I thought that maybe I'd just stay in my room the entire morning, just lying on my bed and trying to make myself disappear.

Then I remembered that Scooter was waiting for me outside my door.

'Oh well,' I thought, 'I'd better go face the music. I just won't be able to look anyone in the eye, that's all.'

So Scooter and I met the rest of the Varsity team in the hall, and went down to the cafeteria together. I'm assuming that most of them had had their breakfast already, and just wanted to see Riley invite the JV Eden Hall Warriors to dinner. I have no idea why, though.

I was somehow made to stand between Riley and Cole (whose shoulders were practically squishing me in between them), while Riley congratulated JV on yesterday's game. Although, if you ask me, there seemed to be a sort of mocking tone in his speech.

Anyway, I could hear Riley talking ... but I couldn't actually hear the words that he was saying. I mean, all I could do was stare at him and ... remember last night and ... and suddenly I had the urge to throw up all over again ...

The thing that really made me mad, though was how ... how ... CALM Riley looked. I mean, he didn't even look at me ONCE! He's probably just ... FORGOTTEN what happened. He probably does that to freshmen ALL the time.

Or maybe I'm the only one.

And the thing is, I don't know what's worse.

Anyway, Riley said something, and Charlie said, "Yeah we do," and for some weird, inexplicable reason ... I put my hand on his shoulder. I don't what possessed me to do such I thing. I think that I was trying to convince myself that despite everything that had happened last night, Charlie was still there. He was still a constant in my life. He always had been, and always would be. Whether he still talked to me or not, he would always be there.

But then – damn my luck – Riley shot a sharp glare my way that chilled me to the bone. I withdrew my hand quickly, but it was too late. He had seen it on Charlie's shoulder.

Him, Warring, and some of the others started making their way out of the cafeteria. Scooter and I stayed with Cole, who was spouting off some crap about tradition, which I didn't bother listening to.

Then he and Scooter started making their way to the door of the cafeteria, and I stayed behind for a bit, watching the uncertain looks on Ducks' – I mean the Warriors' – faces. I really wanted – and still want – them to come. I really do.

So I said, "It's cool," in the hope that it would convince them to come to the dinner. Because no matter what they've done (or what I'VE done, for that matter), I still miss them.

My words seemed to ease their anxiety a bit, and they started nodding and saying that they'd be there.

I turned around, and followed Scooter out of the cafeteria, when the weirdest thing happened.

Fulton had left the table that the Ducks – I mean the JV Warriors – were sitting at, and was heading right at us.

I assumed that I had accidentally done something to piss Charlie off (again), and Fulton was coming to beat me up for it (not that he's generally that kind of guy, it's just that him and Charlie have been hanging out quite a bit lately now that I'm no longer Charlie's best friend and Dean's in Chicago), so I wasn't too surprised when Fulton said, "Banks, I need to talk to you," and went up some stairs, clearly expecting me to follow.

"I'll see you later," I told Scooter, who had raised an eyebrow, but he nodded.

I followed Fulton up the stairs and into the men's loos.

Oh shit, I thought, I'm really in for it now, when he didn't say anything for ages and just stood there, looking at me.

Finally, he came right out with, "Are you alright, Banksie?"

I practically choked on some air right there and then.

"Wh-what?" I asked.

"Are you alright?" he repeated seriously.

"I ... I ..." Fuck no I'm not, just a few hours ago I got beaten almost into unconsciousness and was forced to give my loving captain head? I couldn't exactly say that, so I just settled for, "You don't hate me?"

Fulton looked puzzled.

"Why would I hate you?"

I shrugged, feeling kind of uncomfortable.

"It's just that ... you guys ... the Ducks ... well, none of you apart from Julie talk to me anymore. And I just ..." I trailed off. He nodded.

"I get you. But we don't hate you. Seriously. Charlie's just been shooting his mouth off about you sometimes, saying shit like you're a traitor and you betrayed us ..." he stopped, seeing the look on my face.

Charlie thinks I'm a traitor?

"But we don't think like that," Fulton added quickly. "At least, most of us don't."

I gave him a tight smile. So Charlie ... thinks I'm a traitor? I means, I guess I kind of knew it already, but I didn't expect it to sting so bad.

"Look, Banksie, we're worried, OK? You've seemed kinda quiet for the past few days. Are those pricks ... I mean, those jocks ... are they ... are they treating you OK?"

I blinked, and tried not to look worried. What Fulton was saying ... it sounded like ... sounded like ... like he _knew_.

But it was impossible for him to know.

Still, he was asking me if I was OK, and telling me that the Ducks are worried, so I guess that counts for something.

I tried to smile, but I fear it wasn't as bright as it was meant to be.

"Don't worry, Fult," I said. "I'm fine. The Warriors are OK. I'm just kinda tired, I mean, practises are taking a lot out of me at this school," I lied.

He nodded, not looking entirely convinced.

"Alright, Banksie. But ... if you ever, well ..." he paused, looking awkward. "If you ever need any help or anything, or, you know, want me and Russ to beat any of the Warriors up, you just ask, alright?"

I grinned and nodded. That was nice of him. But I still couldn't get over the fact that this was _Fulton_ saying this to me.

He turned around to leave, but then looked at me and said, "And if you ever repeat to anyone what I've just said in here, you're _dead_, you get me?"

I grinned.

"No worries, Fulton. Your secret's safe with me."

He smiled and left me alone in the bathroom.

I stopped grinning, sighed, turned around and put both hands on either side of the sink, and looked into the mirror. I splashed my face with cold water a few times to try to get rid of those awful bags and to make me look not so goddamn tired, and then I went back to my dorm, took this journal out, and started writing.

I've got to leave in a bit, I'm going to the Minnesota club for the dinner Varsity are giving JV. I wonder how I'll get-

Oh fuck. I've just realised ... I'm getting a lift to the Minnesota club. In a car. In RILEY'S car.

I can't refuse, or else it'll look suspicious! I mean, I don't have my own car, and if I wanna take public transport or skate there, they'll think ... they'll think ... something, something not good, bad things, I dunno.

I'm going to get to the club in Riley's car.

I have one thing to say to that.

Shit.

Adam Leonarde Banks – the boy who's going to do everything he can to avoid Riley while being in the same car as him and being terrified out of his wits


	7. ENTRY FOUR Charlie

**A/N:** Hello my dear readers! I apologise profusely (funky word, eh?) for the delay of this chapter. Well, at least I put it up sooner than the last chap was put up (after almost a year). :) I actually had the chapter done about two and a half months ago, but it took me AGES to write the thank-yous and this A/N (mostly cos I'm a lazy bugger and I also had sooooooooo much coursework and exams). I'm terribly sorry if you find this chapter a bit stilted or whatever, as I feel that it's kind of crap (though not as bad as some of the past chapters, I've recently realised). Oh, and I also apologise for any mistakes I've made when attempting to transcribe some speech from the movie (which I haven't seen for, like, a year, lol). E.g. who says what, who does what, what order it happens in … etc.

But despite that, I hope you all read, enjoy, and REVIEW!

**THANK YOUs:**

Banksiesbabe99 – Thanks for the review! I know, I know, poor Adam :gives Banksie a hug:. And I agree, it was sick that Cole and Warring were there (is it wrong for me to talk about my story as if I didn't write it? Lol). Oh, and I am afraid I will have to disappoint you, for the Banksie-bashing (hehehehe check it out, it's alliteration!) shall continue for the next few chapters! Though none shall be as visual or bad as the last one. I think. I hope. Maybe … aieee, I don't even know, and I'm the author! Oh dear … Anyway, sorry that it took me quite a while to update again :blush: but hey, at least it didn't take me almost a year to update like last time! Hope you enjoy this chappie (though it's a bit crappy). Whoo, it rhymed: )

atlanta's apples – Yay, you said (well, implied) that I have 'serious talent'! I am HAPPY: ) Anyhow, yes, I'm _really _sorry last chapter took _aaaaaaaages _to come out :supreme blush: I kinda have this thing where I start a story, post the first few chapters up one after the other in, like, two months, and then I crawl under my bed and live with my pet tramp for about a year because of writer's block. But yeah. This chappie's come out quicker than last chap, though! That's good, right? Anyways, I'm really glad you like the story (and this might be one of your face Mighty Ducks fan fics? _Really_? Über-coolness:parties:), and I hope you enjoy this chapter (although it's a bit iffy)! Oh, and do continue checking for updates, you stalker-esque person, you. :D

sammy – Thanks! And don't worry, continue I shall! Move forth to read the next chapter, and enjoy!

crazy4nc128 - :D Banksie and Fulton appreciate the hug. Rick and Cole and Nick, however, wanted me to warn you that they will 'mash you up' if you dared to kick them again. I told them to fuck themselves because they knew no one else would, and they shut up, so that was taken care of. Anyway, whoooo! This update didn't take quite as long as the last one to write! Hope you enjoy this chappie!

MOO – Yum yum! I ate the virtual slice of your tasty chocolate chip cake virtually, and it was virtually quite yummy, so thank you for that! And I HAVE updated again … so … uh … send me the cake soon, yeah? Lol. And no worries, it IS a rather good persuasion technique, especially for someone who loves chocolate as much as me. :) Enjoy the chapter (and send more cake)!

DanishGirl – Lol, don't worry 'bout forgetting about this story, I do that to other stories all the time! Anyways, glad you still think it's good, and I'm glad (I think) that you still feel sorry for Adam. Yep, yep, Riley is a twisted, evil, perverted bugger. I hope that Banksie gets some revenge too (it's odd for me to say this when I'm the one writing the story, isn't it? Lol)! Well … will he? Or won't he? (I'm not sure, but) you'll just have to keep reading to find out! (Yup, I'm great with enticing you to keep reading, aren't I:)) And, um … I'm not really updating _soon_ … but hey, it's less than a year, so, um … yeah. Lol. Enjoy the chapter!

broken-angel-gurl – Awww, thanks:blushes: I _tried_ to update soon … this is _kind of _soon, isn't it? Like, soon-ish? Anyhow, hope you like this chapter!

Marblez – Yay, thanks! Well, umm, as I have said before, this isn't really _that _soon, but it's soon-ish, isn't it? Hehe. Yeah. I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker, but I probably won't be able to, sorry! Enjoy this chappie, anyhow!

Beloved – Thanks! I wasn't sure if the last chapter was that good or not, I personally thought that it sounded a bit crude, but I'm glad you thought I handled it well! The posting of this chapter is kinda soon-ish, isn't it? Sorry for the delay, but I hope you enjoy the chappie!

firerebel10 – Aww, I'm sorry you were almost crying, but at least I struck an emotional chord, lol:) I'm glad you're liking this story, and I hope you enjoy this chappie!

kokomocalifornia – Whoohoo! I'm happy you're digging this story, and sorry for the delay in updating. Hope you like this chappie!

princess-sunshine2003 – Yay! I am quite happy that I'm good at cliffies! I had no idea! I'll try to include more of 'em, then, shall I? (Just kidding, don't pelt me with tomatoes just yet, lol). Glad you like the story, enjoy this chappie!

redrose2310 – :D right back atcha! (I assume you like the story, lol.)

* * *

ENTRY FOUR – Charlie

Bastards. Those bastards.

Take a wild guess who I'm talking about. None other than those COCK-SUCKING WARRIORS.

And who's the biggest bastard of them all?

Banks, of course.

It's currently two am, and I'm lying in my bed in the dorm room that I share with Fulton (who is snoring like a warthog), with my bedside lamp on, and I'm writing in this journal.

I guess I oughta start from the beginning, just to explain things.

Well, all us 'JV' players (God, I can't even _write _that without cringing) managed to get to the Minnesota Club in good time (meaning we were about half an hour late, but ah well, traffic, you know?), which meant that Julie couldn't sit next to that Scooter guy she fancies (although when we tease her about it she screeches, 'I do _not!_' and then proceeds to kick our collective asses – though not literally, thank the Lord), and I ended up sitting next to Riley.

Yeah. That's right. _Riley_.

But it was alright, sort of, in the beginning.

I mean, it started out nice enough.

At about six fifteen we (meaning the Eden Hall and Varsity Warriors) were already seated comfortably in our chairs, eating food and making polite conversation, most of us in suits, and (in Connie and Julie's case) dresses. The Varsity team were wearing their school jackets.

So, I was seated next to Riley, thinking, 'Hey, he's not that bad really ... well, OK, he is shit dull and one hell of an up-himself dick, but still, he DOES want to know how I did one of my coolest moves yesterday', and then I shot a quick glance at Adam and saw that he was watching me and Riley kind of intently, but I brushed it off, thinking that my hair must be really messy (well, messier than usual, that is), or something.

Oh, and you know how I said I was worried about him before (Banksie, that is, not Riley)? Yeah? Well, forget that.

I mean, OK, I'll admit, when I saw him at the dinner, he looked (to be frank) like shit.

There were bags under his eyes, he was quiet, even for him, and _really _withdrawn. I swear, he hardly talked to _anyone_.

Not that I care, though. This is all his fault. He fucking betrayed us – _again!_ First, he goes off with Varsity, and _then _they go and play that fucking _prank _on us!

After a couple of hours of dull, polite conversation, Riley stood up in order to make a toast:

"On behalf of the Eden Hall Warrior Varsity State Champion Hockey Team, I'd like to welcome the future State Champs: the Eden Hall Freshmen. Hear, hear."

Me and Russ shared a look – that was kind of decent of Riley. Odd.

But still, we all raised our glasses of champagne (at least there was _one _perk to that dinner – Riley ordered drinks on Daddy's Platinum card. Or it may have been Banks, who knows?) and repeated, "Hear, hear".

Then some big guy sitting opposite me (I think it was Cole, he's one hell of a thick buffoon, but you can't really tell as all the Varsity players look the same) smacked Banks on the back (in reply to which Banks looked down at his lap, looking uncomfortable), and Riley gave Adam a weird sort of glance as he said, "We're just glad you loaned us Banksie so we'd have a chance to beat you guys in the annual Freshman/Varsity showdown."

_Yeah right_, I remember thinking. In your _dreams_, rich-boy.

I don't really know who that was directed at, though. Riley or Banks. After all, they're both complete ASSHOLES that have more money than God.

"Now, nobody move," Riley said.

I saw Luis raise an eyebrow at this – and I'll bet he was thinking _and we're meant to be taking orders from _you

"We've got one last surprise."

Luis' other eyebrow went up – it was a rather comical sight, really.

"Fellas?" Riley asked his boys.

Everyone on the Varsity team got up and started to walk out of the doors of the restaurant.

"Banksie?" Riley said to Adam, who was still staring down at his lap and looking somewhat scared. Banks quickly got up and walked out, not looking back at any of us.

Damn, I can't believe that Riley calls Adam _Banksie_! I mean, what in the _hell_? Only Banks' _friends _call him 'Banksie' – and we _were _his friends. Well, until he decided to piss off and join the Stuck-Up-Snob Brigade with his new best friend _and _fuck-buddy, Rick Riley.

"Don't worry, we'll be right back," one of the Varsity guys 'assured' us carelessly, as a few of us were looking rather apprehensive.

And how right those people were. To be nervous, I mean.

"Hey, don't worry, I know what it is," Guy said, somewhat excitedly. "I overheard Riley telling Cole. It's a _cake_!"

Luis' eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline, Goldberg clapped his hands in glee, Julie looked a bit sick, and Fulton looked indifferent.

And it _was_ a cake.

No ordinary cake, though, for on the cake, piped in blue icing were the words …

"'_Thanks for dinner … LOSERS!_'" Goldberg read in surprise.

Everyone looked at around at each other in shock and confusion.

Just then a waiter handed me the bill.

I gulped as I looked down on it.

Oh _fuck_, I thought.

"What is it, Charlie?" Connie asked.

I put the piece of paper down on the table so that they could all see how much the dinner was worth:

$857.

"Oh _man!_" Averman whined – and right he was to do so. "Charlie, what are we gonna _do_?"

I didn't answer him, but loosened my collar a bit, suddenly feeling very hot – hot with embarrassment, hot with alarm, and hot with _anger_.

First of all – how the hell could we have let ourselves get fooled like that? Varsity were obviously complete DICKS. Why on earth did we think that after 'Cake-eater' said it was OK, it _was_? I mean, after all, he's 'gone over to the Dark Side' as Averman puts it.

Second of all – how the _fuck _were we gonna pay that bill? We were all in Eden Hall on scholarships, and we _definitely _didn't have the kind of spare cash on us to pay that shit.

And finally – how the FUCK could Banks DO this to us? He _obviously _knew about it – that was why he was so shifty at the dinner. What the hell is his problem? Is he so uptight and into himself that he can't fucking _warn _his _friends _(or ex-friends, whatever) that they're about to be forced to pay something they can't fucking afford to? What's up his ass? Riley's cock, no doubt.

God, Banks just makes me SICK.

And because of his fucking BETRAYAL, all of us now have to go to that restaurant after school for four hours every working day for one week – four _hours _– and wash the dishes, dry the dishes, clean the toilets, and basically do _everything _in order to make the restaurant 'pretty' for guests, JUST to pay off the fucking BILL!

I never thought that Banks had it in him to be such a complete and utter BASTARD! I seriously want to hit something (or some_one _– hey, why not Riley, he's a prick? Or, better yet, why not Banks?) 'cos I'm so angry.

Banks is such a fucking TRAITOR! I really hope he's suffering on Varsity, Lord knows he'd deserve it.

I mean, all the guys are quite a bit older than him, and the coach seems like a right fucker (though Orion easily beats him in the Prick Of The Month competition), so I hope that they're giving Banksie hell for being such a fucked up shit-eating FAG!

OK, fuck, I didn't mean to write that.

I mean, I didn't mean to sound like that.

I mean …

Fuck, I don't know _what _I mean. I'm just _so _fucking _angry _right now (and Fulton's fuck-off loud snores aren't helping my temper any), that I can't really think straight.

I mean, I know that Adam's gay, as he told me at the end of last year, and I don't have a problem with it – I mean, honestly I don't, if you're gay, you're gay, and that's all there is to it – but I've never called him something like a _fag _or a _pouf _or a _fairy_ before.

But that's what he is, isn't he? And Riley totally has him whipped, and anyway, Banks is a traitor, so I shouldn't care about what I call him behind his back, should I?

Or does this mean that, in some sort of way, I'm betraying _him _by calling him names?

Wait a minute, what the fuck am I _thinking_? Of _course _I'm not betraying him! He means shit to me!

And anyway, he betrayed me first.

Fag.

- Charlie Conway, the guy who's in one hell of a pissed off mood despite the fact that it's three in the morning and he has a Maths test first thing at school. Ah well, Maths isn't worth shit when you're a hockey player


End file.
